Beyond the difficult conversation: how to build trust with parents of children with SEND

In this blog, you will learn:

• Why trust between educators and families of SEND children needs to be established before difficult conversations happen.

• The importance of collaborating with parents when supporting children with SEND.

• How effective communication can help build trust with SEND families.

• Where the latest education and SEND jobs are and how to apply for them.

Conversations with parents of children with SEND can play a vital role in shaping a child’s experience of early years education and the support they receive. From sharing everyday observations and celebrating progress to discussing emerging concerns, assessments or additional support, these conversations are an important opportunity for educators and parents to understand a child’s needs together.

Strong partnerships between educators and parents shouldn’t just begin when a problem arises; they should be built long before difficult conversations need to happen.

For parents of children with SEND, trust, openness and consistent communication can make a huge difference to their experience and to the support their child receives. That means communication shouldn’t only happen when there’s a concern to raise, an assessment to discuss or a diagnosis to navigate.

By building positive relationships from the outset, early years practitioners and educators can build a foundation of trust that makes challenging conversations more constructive, collaborative and focused on the best possible outcomes for a child.

Throughout this blog, we’ll explore what effective communication with parents of children with SEND really looks like.

Why does trust need to be established before difficult conversations happen?

Building trust with the parents of children with SEND is essential for creating an open and collaborative relationship. Parents need to feel confident that educators understand their child, value their perspective and have their child’s best interests at heart. 

When that trust is established, parents may feel more comfortable sharing concerns, asking questions and providing important information about their child’s needs, behaviours and experiences at home. This can give educators a more complete understanding of the child and help ensure that the support they provide is appropriate, consistent and responsive to their individual needs.

Trust is particularly important when conversations become more sensitive or challenging. Discussions around emerging concerns, additional support, assessments or a possible diagnosis can understandably bring uncertainty and emotion for families. When educators have already built a trusting relationship through regular communication, active listening and honest conversations, parents are more likely to feel included rather than simply informed.

This creates a stronger foundation for navigating difficult conversations together, making shared decisions and maintaining a positive partnership focused on supporting the child’s development, wellbeing and progress.

Why is working in partnership with parents important when supporting children with SEND?

When parents and educators work in partnership, children with SEND can benefit from more consistent and joined-up support across both their education and home life.

Parents bring invaluable knowledge of their child — from their strengths, interests and communication preferences to the situations they may find challenging and the strategies that work well at home. By creating opportunities for open, two-way conversations, educators can combine these insights with their own observations to develop a fuller understanding of each child’s individual needs.

This shared understanding can lead to more informed decisions about the support a child receives. Parents and practitioners can discuss what is working, identify where adjustments may be needed and agree on approaches that can be reinforced consistently across different environments.

How does effective communication help build trust with SEND families?

Effective communication consists of providing regular updates about changes and progress, not just challenges and problems. Any parent wants to hear updates and improvements to their child's learning and development and SEND families are no different.

Communication with SEND families should be clear, accessible and meaningful in order to build trust with SEND families. Parents need information they can understand, as well as opportunities to contribute their own experiences and perspectives about their child.

Providing accessible ways for parents to talk, listening carefully and responding with clarity is essential for trust building and when discussing a child’s progress, needs and support.

Whether it’s through parent workshops, parents’ evenings or dedicated parent spaces, it’s important that parents have regular opportunities to communicate openly and share their feelings. 

Different families may prefer different ways of communicating, so offering a range of appropriate opportunities can help make communication more accessible.

How can trust between professionals and parents of children with SEND be built?

Professionals can build trust with parents of children with SEND by:

• Being honest and open.

• Creating opportunities for two-way communication.

• Using clear, plain language.

Being honest and open

It is vital for educators to be open and truthful with the parents of children with SEND. When educators don't have all the answers, honesty is important in maintaining trust and reassuring parents that their questions and concerns are being taken seriously.

Honesty is especially useful when discussing the best support for children with SEND and navigating differences of opinion, particularly when parents and professionals have different views.

Educators should speak openly and respectfully about students, so parents and families have clear, realistic expectations about their child’s needs, progress and next steps. 

Communication with parents shouldn't only happen when there is a concern, diagnosis, assessment or difficult piece of news. Consistent communication can have a positive impact on parental confidence. 

The priority should be building a relationship rooted in trust, respect and reliability, rather than treating it as a one-off conversation. When honesty and openness come first, communication becomes easier and more effective.

Creating opportunities for two-way communication

Instead of merely sharing information and updates, it is vital that teaching staff engage with parents of children with SEND and provide regular opportunities for meaningful two-way communication.

Educators and parents can share valuable information and expertise, helping each other develop a fuller understanding of the child’s needs. This means giving parents space to ask questions, share their observations and explain what they are seeing at home.

By sharing knowledge and expertise, both can respond effectively to what they learn and work together to provide appropriate support, improve attendance and support better outcomes for children.

Parents bring knowledge from their lived experience of supporting their child and are experts in what their child needs. Building trust means listening to parents and the advice, support and ideas they have to share.

Parents can also share valuable information including their child’s emotional triggers, communication preferences and routines that shape their daily life. Encouraging two-way conversations, rather than simply sharing updates, feels more like meaningful engagement than just reporting information or ticking a box. 

Using clear, plain language

When it comes to speaking to parents and relaying information, it's important to keep it simple and use clear, plain language. Parents don’t want to feel undermined when it comes to their child’s health, safety and wellbeing and are much more likely to prefer straightforward communication. Using clear, plain language instead of jargon or acronyms when communicating, makes it easier to understand and meet children's needs.

Educators should explain to parents/carers which areas of learning and development their child may be having difficulties with and provide them with clear examples and evidence. This helps parents and carers feel informed, respected and supported.

Educators who are empathetic, understanding and don’t use jargon, are more likely to build trust with parents of children with SEND, as well as ensure the best possible outcomes.

Difficult conversations in particular can feel overwhelming and using jargon or professional assumptions can cause further stress, worry and confusion for parents.

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