By Paul Best
In this blog, you will learn:
Why parents and professionals interpret the same situation differently.
How education and SEND professionals can navigate differences of opinion with parents about the best support for children with SEND.
Where the latest education and SEND jobs are and how to apply for them.
When it comes to supporting children with SEND, parents and professionals don’t always see eye to eye. Parents know their children best, but professionals may have their own expertise, experience and concerns regarding a child’s needs, progress, behaviour and support.
Parents and professionals may not always agree on what is best for a child with SEND, but they do share the same goal: helping the child to thrive. So, what happens when parents and professionals have very different views about what a child with SEND needs?
Throughout this blog, you’ll discover how educators and parents of children with SEND can navigate differences of opinion and work together to ensure positive outcomes.
Why might parents and professionals interpret the same situation differently?
When parents see things differently to professionals, it is usually because they have their child’s best interests at heart and are drawing on their own experiences and understanding of what their child needs.
However, SEND professionals will bring their own knowledge and experience from an educational setting and may interpret situations differently.
The views and judgements of parents are shaped by their emotional ties and the day-to-day reality of life at home. Different perspectives can sometimes make it harder to assess a child’s needs objectively and agree on the most appropriate support. For parents, a strategy that works well at home may differ from what is most effective in the classroom.
For example, a parent may find that discussing their child’s behaviour helps them to understand what happened and feel calmer. In the classroom, a teacher might offer a quiet space or a planned sensory break to support the child and de-escalate the situation.
Parents may also notice things at home that professionals don’t see, while professionals may spot patterns and observe issues that are not apparent or are less obvious at home. This means each may respond differently to challenges, use different approaches and measure progress in various ways.
How can professionals navigate differences of opinion with parents?
Professionals can navigate differences of opinion with parents by:
Giving parents time to process.
Focusing on the child’s needs rather than assigning blame.
Using evidence and observations when discussing a child’s needs.
Acknowledging parents’ concerns without becoming defensive.
Focusing on solutions rather than differences.
Giving parents time to process
Parents should be actively involved in planning support, reinforcing strategies and helping their child make progress at home. This requires education and SEND professionals to be patient with parents and show genuine understanding and compassion.
Often, conversations may be prompted by parents about concerns or behaviours they have noticed at home. It is important for educators to actively listen to parents' concerns, opinions and ideas and not rush any decisions or plans.
For some parents, news, updates and changes may be unexpected, shocking and hard to hear. They may lack confidence and having difficult conversations or differing opinions calls for empathy and patience. Some parents may require more time, communication and explanation to understand the reasons for changes in their child’s support plan or behaviour, and it’s important for professionals to be patient.
If a parent or carer disagrees or sees things differently, it is essential to take the time to listen, reflect and persevere. It is not for teaching professionals to judge a parent’s reasons or views, but to respond with patience, respect and consistency.
Focusing on the child’s needs rather than assigning blame
When parents and professionals see things differently, it can be challenging to put differences of opinion aside and find a way forward. It’s important for parents and professionals to listen without judgement and focus on the child’s individual needs, rather than making assumptions about intentions.
Avoiding negative labels and assumptions can help to challenge the perception that parents and carers are ‘difficult’ and ‘uncooperative’ when they advocate for their child or question the support being offered.
Approaching differences without judgement and blame can help parents feel heard and more confident. This can make it easier for families to understand different points of views that may benefit children and young people and help them navigate future differences.
Using evidence and observations when discussing a child’s needs
Different opinions can be hard to explain and it isn’t always easy to help someone see things from a different perspective. It can be especially challenging to explain or justify views when speaking to the parents of young people with SEND about their child’s future.
An effective way teaching professionals can help parents see things differently, or open their minds to a different viewpoint, is by using evidence to support their views.
Educators can do this to connect with parents and explain their decisions without making parents feel challenged or embarrassed, or feel they’re being proved wrong.
Education and SEND professionals who support their ideas with clear facts and examples can make their point effectively whilst showing parents that they are on their side and have the child’s best interests at heart.
Offering a clear, professional perspective can help parents see the situation in a new light or, at least, help them understand the reasons behind the professional’s approach.
Acknowledging parents’ concerns without becoming defensive
One of the most effective ways professionals can manage differences with parents is by listening and responding without becoming defensive. This is especially important when parents express anxiety or demand to be included in decisions about their child’s support.
Many parents of SEND children have faced broken promises, long waits and repeated delays. Fighting the system can often leave parents exhausted, fearful or disheartened and SEND professionals should aim to offer support without patronising families or causing further distress.
Parents may have doubts, suggestions or questions about a particular care strategy for their child and it is essential for educators to listen, acknowledge and not dismiss or minimise a parent's concerns.
Validating parent's emotions and concerns and building trust requires professionals to avoid taking criticism personally or becoming defensive. Instead, they should work with parents to explore the issue together. Recognising different perspectives can help move the conversation forward and create a more collaborative, solution-focused partnership.
Focusing on solutions rather than differences
Parents and educators may not always agree about a child’s needs, support or next steps, but they can work towards a shared understanding of what will best support children and young people with SEND.
After discussing different perspectives, professionals can summarise what has been said, clarify any areas of uncertainty and identify practical steps that can be agreed together. Turning disagreement into collaborative problem solving can help parents and professionals move forward with a shared focus on the child’s needs and wellbeing.
Finding common ground about children’s needs and care is essential and can make the biggest difference when it comes to navigating future challenges or disagreements.
Giving parents the chance to help shape decisions about their child’s support and to talk through any disagreements, helps everyone understand what has been agreed and what will happen next.
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